music written by toby "radiation" fox 0. INTRO EVERY DAY, A MILLION BABIES ARE BORN IN THE UNITED STATES ALONE. MANY OF THESE BABIES CLIMB OUT OF VAGINAS. OTHERS, THE STORKS BRING THEM. SOME ARE BORN OUT OF SLIME IN PARADOX SPACE THANKS TO A SPECIAL VIDEO GAME YOUR MOMMY USED TO PLAY. BUT REGARDLESS OF HOW THESE BABIES MAY BE BORN... THEY ALL COME INTO THE WORLD WITH A SPECIAL FORCE... CALLED LOVE. THIS IS THAT STORY. (ambulances fade) 1. THROGUH SONG (police sirens) john: hi im john egbert and OH MY GOD DAVE WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE FLOOR WRITHIN IN PAIN dave: nothin, john... just ignore me... im not... pregnant john: OH MY GOD DAVE... WHATS HAPPENED TO YOU DAVE: im... im lyin.... i am pregnant john: WHAT!!! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!! WHOSE THE FATHER dave: the father... i cant tell you john john: but... then... WHOSE THE BABY dave: the baby john... is you dave: your the baby dave: all the babies dave: all of them JOHN: NO DAVE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JOHN: WE HAVE TO GET YOU TO A HOSPITAL JOHN: ARE YOU SERIOUS THOUGH, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING dave: john i guess the only way you can understand is song 2. IM HAVING A BABY, AND THE BABY IS YOU BUM BUM BUM i was sittin around, in the middle of the night all bored with nothing to do i called up my friend, he put some stuff in my end taught him a hundred different ways to screw i conksunked his boots, touched his imigrants the chips had just started to fall now after that night, i was given a fright a babytummy shaped like a ball DAMN JOHN!!! im havin a baby and the baby is you id birth my best friend its true im havin a baby and the baby is you koalababies up the avenue im a havin a baby and the baby is you my ovaries are out the wazoo im having a a baby and the baby is you ur gonna come out my hoohoo john: BUT HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE dave: i dont know... such is the magic of skaia he entered all of my seven gates he touched john he prototyped my medium and now my kernelsprite is rich with data and... nwo.... your the baby john: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO duet: YOUR HAVIN A BABY AND THE BABY IS YOU/ME BIRTH MY BEST FRIEND ITS TRUE HAVIN A BABY AND THE BABY IS YOU KOALABABIES UP THE AVENUE HAVIN A ABABY AND THE BABY IS YOU OVARIES ARE OUT THE WAZOO HAVIN A BABY AND THE BABY WEARS SHOES BABIES FLYIN OUT THE HOO HOO WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 3. bootes DAVE: OH MY GOD... john... THE BABY... IS A BABY.... IS A BABY John: dave you're losing your water break, we cant go to the hospital now DAVE: YOUR RIGHT HTERES NO TIME DAVE: WE MUST GO TO MOUNT PROSPIT DAVE: where i myself was born JOHN: you were born in a lab dave and im your lab daddy DAVE: ok shut up, dad, because your my baby now and youre the one that's going to have mantitties in your face john: what? dave: MANTITTIES IN YOUR FACe, MANTITTIES IN YOUR FACE john: aww, gross! dave put your fucking shirt on dave: MANTITTIES john: i'm not even born yet that's not fair dave: oh my god... someone needs to deliver this baby right now karkat: I CAN DO THAT john: karkat what the fuck are you doing karkat: delivering babies... i did it once i can do it again....... john: leave it up to me karkat karkat: no... no i cant... your the baby..... karkat: i must do this... i must be the... the midwife karkat: john... theres some things you cant know john: like what dave: please just reach inside me and take this - KARKAT: LETS SING A FUCKING SONG ONCE UPON A TIME ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN A BABY WAS SITTING IN A WATER FOUNTAIN HIS NAME WAS DAVE AND HE WAS SUPREME HIS BOOTIES WERE COVERED IN PEACHES AND CREAM AND THAT STORY TODAY IS TOTALLY IRRELEVANT I'M A TROLL AND JOHN I WANT TO FUCK YOU OUT OF HATE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM dave: please sotp this singing shit, i need to have this baby... now...... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM 4. - ROSE PRAGNANT (feat. mia as rose) JOHN: dave you need to hang in there DAVE: AEAAAEEAAA karkat: i dont get it... the baby just wont come out dave: IM NOT READY... tehre are some things I have to clean up first (car) rose: i came as fast as i could dave: rose i'm glad you're here.... i need to talk you about................. this........ big baby in my mommytummy rose: undubitatably. i will embiggen my words less so you can understand me. i am the queen of books. dave: lets not talk. lets.... sing....... like old times rose: no, strider. the truth is.... im pregnant. i cant sing. john: ROSE!!!!!!!!! dave: it's... its only fair.... rose: besides singing is passe for those of a caliber like ours. let us engage in that ancient art far superior..... rap 5. - the rose rap (feat. von fawn as rose) roserap: strider let me break it down like this for you there once was a violet femme fatale whose violent violin sung sweet without the tables of a boy who turned tricks and treats like icy halloween breeze/ so fresh were his beats but alone they were weak no revolution together - overtime there was an evolution they met on the net and there was a fusion like danimals yogurt breakfast frusion hearts and minds and souls and hearts they loved each other you bag of farts they promised to be each others baby mommy daddy babies but now theyre both caught in their lies their fingers in another persons pies guilty of another person's scabies CHORUS (SUNG): strider heart to heart dont treat me like a fool you may have played me but my heart waylayed me i wanna be your baby mommy too daverap: rose i know how you're feeling, i know your emotions i want you to know i mirror your devotion you dont see this kind of depravity on the serengetti whoops there goes gravity, moms spaghetti i screwed up, i fucked up, i got screwed and fucked im the baby of bad choices and my little legs are tucked i wanted to be true, make you a faithful hubby but you know i cant do, it's just too much trubby we're related rose, thats the problem, not the other we cant be baby mommy daddies because your my sis and im you're brother i have the feelings your feeling, we share the same idea and i know i screwed up and probably caught gonohrrea but the truth of it all yo is that.... rose it would have never worked and i hope you forgive me because... actually... im having this baby now i want to say im sorry and that i want to be.......... with you and that what i did was wrong and you can be its mommy and we can get married and not worried about retarded babes do you agree roserap: yes dave.......... oh yes..................... take me away........... CHORUS CHORUS X 2 with harmonies ROSE: DAVE I LIED.... IM NOT PREGNANT..... IM JUST FAT................ dave: oh rose.............. i dont care........... being pregnant might be against the rules of the mpsa forum, but this isn't........... (worst makeout sounds ever) karkat: im going to throw up john: gross!!! everyone cover your eyes!!! the two naked incestuous pregnant teenagers are..... KISSING!!!!!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 6. uh oh LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHINGS GOING TO BE OK bro: dave im going to eat ur baby 7. vs bros dave: bro i dont want to fight you. i just want to have my baby in peace. bro: hah! too bad, ash ketchum! im gary motherfucking oak and i'm hungry for babies so get goddamn shoveling! bro: i'm the king of everything under the sun im just like parappa except i like hot dog buns im gonna beatdown your butt ill contention your face ill eat all the babies in the human race john: why would bro say something like that dave: i dunno. he's never tried to eat my babies before! bro: shut up your face dad, im totally me eatin apple jacks is the way to be haha! how does it feel to be shut down by my superior rapping techniques i will show you the power of the forbidden rhyme - the words that rhyme with THEMSELVES john: this is entirely unimpressive bro: you have yet to see my true power huaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh dave: actually this is retarded im going to bed bro: YOU CANT GO TO BED actually im out of batteries so i'm going to die 8. A BABY IS BORN (feat. artemis251 as luigi, chorus singer, kid, and hella jeff) KC GREEN: HEY KIDS,,, THIS IS KC GREEN AND IT'S TIME FOR THE GUNSHOW SINGALONG SHOW I HOPE YOU ALL GOT YOUR FACES READY TO SING A LITTLE TUNE HERE LETS GO all: I'm having a baby and the baby is you I'm having a baby and the baby is true Greetings Andrew Hussie this is Radiation How high do you have to be pretty goddamn high havin a baby and the baby is you (is you) the baby is true (is trueeee) OHHHHHHHH IM HAVIN A BABY AND ITS GONNA BE AWESOME WHEN I HAVE A BABY dave: omg its happening IM HAVIN THIS BABY IM HAVIN A BABY ALL OVER YOUR FACE AHFSAHFJHAGJKHAGKJHS fjsahfkashgkjhagjks luigi: actually this is pretty gross arty: PUSH PUSH PUSH mia: i came dave: it's beautiful its beautiful your beautiful john youre a beautiful baby john: I LOVE BEING YOUR BABY/ IM THE BABY. IM THE BABY, ITS ME AND WE ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER mia: i came as fast as i could special thanks ----------- **mia --> being at fault for everything/art/rose **fawn --> singing rose and actually doing the CD thing **artemis251 --> being chill bro and singing along with the last song **xander --> immoral support