By Weird Al Yankovic alyankovic Twitter ← Hardware Store Previous track by this artist → NOW That's What I Call Polka! Next track by this artist.
Duration: 3:31.

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Tracks that I Can't Watch This references:

• U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer

Tracks that sample I Can't Watch This:

From Fandom:

• Bite The Hand That Feeds You by Rom M

Lyrics:

I can't watch this
I can't watch this
I can't watch this
I can't watch this

My my my my (I can't watch this)
TV makes me so bored
Makes me say, oh my lord
What is this garbage here?
Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears
It sucks, and that's no lie
It's about as much fun as watching paint dry
Lowers my IQ one notch
And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch

I told you homeboy... I can't watch this
Yeah, nothin' but trash and you know (I can't watch this)
Poke out my eyes, man (I can't watch this)
Yo, gimme that remote control (I can't watch this)

Talkin' 'bout sick shows
Of America's Funniest Home Videos
I can't believe my eyes
When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize
Somebody's poor old mom
Falls down off the roof, lands right on the lawn
Face first on a rake
I hear they've got it on the seventeenth take
That's funny as a kick in the crotch
And that kind of show, uh, I can't watch

Yo, I told you (I can't watch this)
Change the channel now, man (I can't watch this)
Yo, pass the TV guide here, sucker (I can't watch this)

Cosby Show and Rosanne
Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can
Judge Wopner, oh my
You gotta be Rainman to like this guy
Thirtysomething is alright
If you like hearing yuppies whining all night
Can't stand Twin Peaks
Wish they'd lynch those donut-eatin' freaks
Those Siskel & Ebert bums
Ought to go home and sit on their thumbs

That's word because you know
I can't watch this
I can't watch this
Break it down!

(Here's how to order!)
(Money back guarantee!)
(Removes tough stains, fast!)
(It tastes more like fresh peanuts)
(They keep going... and going...)
(Don't hate me because I'm beautiful)
(Could be dandruff!)
(Our prices are INSANE!!!)

Stop! Prime time!
I'm pretty sure I'll be sick
If I have to watch another stupid pet trick
Or that guy with the real flat hair
That goes woof woof woof and waves his fist in the air
Or those weird talk shows
About Transsexual Nazi Eskimos
They're rude, crude and vile
Just for a minute let's flip down the dial

Flip, flip, flip... yeccch (I can't watch this)
Look man (I can't watch this)
I can't take this torture no more, I can't- (I can't watch this)
Pay the bills, station break
Break it down!

(Operators are standing by!)
(Cubic zirconium necklace!)
(You're soaking in it)
(And our fabulous swimsuit issue)
(When you've got a headache this big...)
(Read the book!)
(This is your brain... on drugs.)
(I've fallen and I can't get up!!)

Stop! Cable time!
HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV
I might like 'em more after my lobotomy
Now why did I ever pay for this junk?
I hooked up eighty channels and each one stunk
Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T & A
It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid
Gonna throw my set away!

I can't watch this
I can't watch this
I can't watch this (Yeah...)
I can't watch this

(I told you...) I can't watch this
(Too hip) Can't watch this
(Get me outta here) Can't watch this