By Circlejourney circlejourney Bandcamp circlejourney SoundCloud Circlejourney YouTube circlejourneyart Tumblr circlejourney Twitter circlejourney.net Other machinasolis SoundCloud.
Released 3/30/2021.
Duration: 3:41.

Listen on Bandcamp, YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music.

Read artist commentary.

Tracks that Memorialisation references:

• Memorialisation by Circlejourney and magnoliajades

Tracks that reference Memorialisation:

From Beyond:

• Memorialisation (Instrumental) by Circlejourney

Lyrics:

I've forgotten her face
I don't remember her voice at all
What is she to me, anyway
Why should I care that I don't recall
So all my pride was misplaced
How could I have been so blind
What use is a memorial in your mind

Walls break, windows crack
Trees die, and don't grow back
If you wait, the leaves will all turn black

And she also forgot me
At last the whole truth has come to light
It was all just a gambit
A surrender and not a fight
For all these years, she bore my weight
For love, for hate, she tolerated me
"Just wait for me," she'd say to me, "Just wait"
Until she left that night
That endless night

Walls break, windows crack
Trees die and don't grow back
If you wait, the leaves will all turn black
Don't you know
Overgrown houses fall
All they've known, no trace at all
A bird sends up its mourning call alone

I've always known how to make things
But not how to break them
I don't know how to take it
When they can't be repaired
I've always known she's gone,
She's gone, she's gone, she's gone
She never cared

Who am I, who was I, to you, my mother
Answer me

Walls break, windows crack
Trees die and don't grow back
Suddenly, everything goes black
Songs end, seeds decay
You can't pretend the grief away
Oh, if I could send a reply with the things I'd like to say
I'd say I'm sorry that I wasted my childhood away
But you're not here, and you can't watch me
Destroy this memorial today

Artist commentary:

Circlejourney: (booklet commentary)

Back in 2016 or so, I planned on writing a whole stage musical based on my novel, Eagles and Swans (which will forever be unreleased, at the rate I’m going). This was the only song that actually materialised in full.

I’m fond of writing songs about fictional characters (moreso than about my own life), especially characters that I created myself. This one’s about Ruthenia, the main character of Eagles and Swans, at a time when she’s questioning everything about her past.

It’s definitely the hardest one to sing on this album, and honestly I feel it was made for the penultimate position. I’m happy to finally have the chance to channel my inner musical theatre lover, and would love to write more for this musical whenever I’ve got the time.

Circlejourney: (track cover)