Off Brand
By Funk McLovin
funkmclovin
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BigFunkyJ
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June's Ode
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Dave's Ballad Reprise
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Released 11/23/2020.
Duration: 3:58.
Listen on Bandcamp.
Contributors:
- AE aerchivist Twitter oftheaethereal Bandcamp oftheaethereal SoundCloud YouTube YouTube aerchivist Twitch ← June's Ode Previous track contribution by this artist (June)
- Bucky Grant YouTube YouTube raddifferent Tumblr raddifferent SoundCloud ← Karkat's Lament Previous track contribution by this artist (Karkat)
- Funk McLovin funkmclovin Bandcamp YouTube YouTube BigFunkyJ Twitter ← June's Ode Previous track contribution by this artist → Dave's Ballad Reprise Next track contribution by this artist (Dave)
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Lyrics:
JUNE: i hope dave is okay.
JUNE: what do you think will happen if something goes wrong?
JUNE: what if i evaporate, like in back to the future?
KARKAT: IT'LL BE FINE, JUNE.
JUNE: but i've been hearing trumpet playing from the delivery room this whole time.
KARKAT: NO DON'T WORRY, THAT'S JUST THE DOCTOR FROM TRACK FOUR.
JUNE: oh, right.I know it's off brand
But I wouldn't worry
Dave's a strong sort of guyHe's a good dad
So we'd better hurry
And pull ourselves together, here's whyThrough these nine months
I've hemmed and I've hawed
But here's the conclusion I came toIt's surreal and unfun
But I've been so in awe
You me and Dave tooI know it's our friend
But I sort of agree
Dave's taken this just like a champIt's not the most grand
That the baby is me
But we really oughta be in Dave's campThrough these nine months
I've been so horrified
About the implications metaphysicBut through these nine months
Not one single time
Have I told Dave he's terrificI know it's not grand
But the trio of us
Two dads and one paradox daughterCan be hand in hand
One family of us
Come temporal hell or high waterDAVE: well folks great news
JUNE: oh, dave! thank god.
KARKAT: DAVE, LOOK AT HER.
KARKAT: IT'S A LITTLE JUNE.
JUNE: i'm still not entirely sure how it was born with my glasses on...
DAVE: i have some bad news
KARKAT: WHAT IS IT?
JUNE: what do you mean?
DAVE: to preserve the time loop this baby has to go back in time and live your childhood june
DAVE: we cant keep it
KARKAT: ...I GUESS THIS IS OUR ONE CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE.I know it's off brand
But I'm teary-eyed
I love this little dude mostKarkat my man
And June buddy of mine
Now I know why we're so closeWhen we were kids
Playing SBURB
I knew that we all were connectedThrough all this amidst
Our trials absurd
It's not quite the way we expectedI know it's off brand
But the trio of us
Two dads and one paradox daughterCan be hand in hand
One family of us
Come temporal hell or high waterDAVE: well
DAVE: that was weird
DAVE: i gotta admit im kinda sad that i didnt get to raise a little june
JUNE: i'm not...
KARKAT: WELL, AT LEAST WE LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON FROM THIS.
DAVE: we did
KARKAT: SURE.
JUNE: what was it?
KARKAT: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW.
KARKAT: BUT I'M SURE SOMEDAY IT WILL COME IN HANDY.
KARKAT: LIKE SOME OBSCURE TRIAL WILL HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE AND WE'LL BE ABLE TO DRAW ON OUR COLLECTIVE KNOWLEDGE OF THE MECHANICS OF PARADOX IMPREGNATION.
JUNE: it's kind of like jesus, huh?
JUNE: a virgin birth.
DAVE: definitely not a virgin
KARKT: WHAT'S A VIRGIN?
JUNE: man, i wonder what would have happened if i'd chosen meat or candy.
DAVE: good question june buddy
DAVE: i guess the world will just never know
[Laughter.]
JUNE: probably for the best.