Fruity Pebbles Jingle

By Scott Stutzman scottstutzman Bandcamp scott_stutzman SoundCloud ScottStutzmanLagoon YouTube.
Duration: 5:55.

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Lyrics:

(Uh... Scott Stutzman... [pronounced 'Stootzman'])
(It's pronounced 'Thompson'. Scott Thompson. No it's Stutzman.)
(Okay. Stutzman. Not Stootzman but Stutzman. Okay.) (Stutzman. Stutzman. Stutzman.)
(And, uh, he's our- my Songwriting 2 student from, uh, Spring Creek, and he's gonna play a little band, uh, ukulele, and...)
(It feels perfect. Thank you.)
(Does that sound good?) (Of course it sounds good.)
(I don't know Scott's song title, you'll have to tell them.) (Oh, okay, well this uh, has a little bit of a story attached. Uh one of my favorite breakfast cereals of all time is... Fruity Pebbles. And I realized the other day that Fruity Pebbles doesn't have a slogan or a jingle associated with it. So what i did was I just wrote a short little jingle that they would probably love to use in one of their commercials. Uh the song is called... Fruity Pebbles Jingle.) [mild clapping] (Thank you I love America too.)

Oh Kellogg's Fruity Pebbles are the best thing about morning
Those colorful enchanting little specks
They make my taste buds spring to life without the slightest warning
In a way they never do when I eat Chex

Oh Kellogg's Fruity Pebbles are the breakfast I've been cravin'
I shove 'em by the fistful in my trap
They got vitamins and nutrients and even riboflavin
And make Cocoa Puffs look like a bowl of crap

Yeah Kellogg's Fruity Pebbles are a breakfast taste sensation
They're tiny tasty munchable and sweet
I'd like to start a bloody war and build a Pebbles nation
And murder every other breakfast treat

And the gallows will sway through the night
For Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
All cereals bow down in fright
For Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
Sycophants and cowards flee
From Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
Captain Crunch on bended knee
For Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles

The balance of the world's askew
But Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
Promise revolutions new
For Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
What cereal 'mongst other things
But Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
Stays crunchy in the blood of kings?
It's Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles

(Alright, still goin'. Ridin' that Pebble train.)
City-states and emirates and commonwealths and counties
Imagine how they will react with glee
As the early dawn reflects upon all nature's greatest bounty
Of soybean oil and red dye number three

Oh ministers and magistrates can't stop the people's yearning
For the turning of the powers yet to be
And presidents and potentates can't stop the fires burning
As we cast their ivory towers to the sea

And the creatures of the forest hark
To Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
Noble stag and yellow lark
For Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
The innocence of children's eyes
And Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
Will watch that Fruity flag rise
For Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles

United we shall march along
With Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
Some shall die but we'll fight on
For Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
The fife shall play its soaring note
For Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
We'll slit every dissenting throat
For Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles

This vow for glory we must keep
For Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
Though God himself may turn and weep
For Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
Do not fear the cleansing flood
Of Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles
A breakfast table stained with blood
And Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles

AAAAAAHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OOOOOooooooo.....

(I really like Fruity Pebbles.)
(Well thank you Scott. Thank goodness for comedians. You know? It lightens our day.)
(It-that-it wasn't supposed to be funny.)

References Beyond Homestuck

Additional Tracks

Fruity Pebbles Jingle