By ostrichlittledungeon ostrichlittledungeon Bandcamp (instrumental, writer) and Cloudaria (recitation).
Cover art by Cloudaria.
Released 10/30/2016.
Duration: 1:36.

Listen on Bandcamp or YouTube.

Lyrics:

Twas the night before gristmas—how apropros.
Not a creature was stirring, not even Swet Bro.
The hams were hung from the door by the lawn
in hopes that Rose's virginity soon would be gone.
Dabe Stidrer was nestled all snug in the chest
stark naked, revealing his back and his breast.
Femora with his handcuffs and Dad with his cakes
had just settled into a car with no brakes.
When in the backyard there arose such a clatter,
they drove over there to see what was the matter.
Away rolled the car as they drove far too fast,
and into the lake, which was really quite vast.
But behind them, they saw, as they sank down below,
a huge rollercoaster (which made them go woah).
And, what to their wondering eyes then emerged,
but a cart flying towards them—they were quickly submerged.
They climbed out of the car and crawled onto the lawn,
and they knew then and there that the culprit was Jhon.
He hopped in the coaster and flew off to Skaia
so pooplice raised his gun and shot a papaya.
It sailed through the air and smacked Jhon in the face
but, alas, he was already distant in space.
And he cried as he flew to the planets unknown,
“its tiem to se if i can make roze moan”