By Jonaya Riley jonayariley.com Other JonayaRiley Twitter YouTube YouTube JonayaRiley Patreon altuniversewash SoundCloud JonayaRiley Instagram YouTube YouTube altuniversewash DeviantArt → How to Diagnose a Vriska Next track by this artist.
Cover art by Jonaya Riley jonayariley.com Other JonayaRiley Twitter YouTube YouTube JonayaRiley Patreon altuniversewash SoundCloud JonayaRiley Instagram YouTube YouTube altuniversewash DeviantArt.
Released 1/4/2021.
Duration: 3:07.

Listen on Bandcamp.

Lyrics:

Kanaya: Hello, my name is Kanaya Maryam, and I am an internet streamer... Rose, Dave, is that the right term? Am I streaming on the Internet?

Dave: Dope-ass meme lord more like, am I right?

Kanaya: Oh, okay. My name is Kanaya Maryam and I am a dope-ass meme lord. Why are you both snickering?

Dave: Watch the memes!

Kanaya: I have been told that I should review a series of Earth memes. The reason for this has not been made sufficiently clear to me. I trust it will reveal itself in time. Or it will be revealed that a certain pair of siblings is perhaps, to use a human phrase, messing with me.

(Uh, here's something that's never happened before. I'm a pickle. I'm Pickle Riiiiiick!)

Kanaya: Ah. Here we have a man who has turned himself into a pickle. He is... Pickle Rick.

Dave: Funniest shit you ever saw?

Kanaya: Dave has asked me if this is the funniest shit I have ever viewed. I can assure you that it is not.

(HOLD ON! HOLD ON! HOLD ON... HER SISTER WAS A WITCH! RIGHT?!)

Kanaya: Are humans normally so passionate about witches? Rose, do you know of this witch? Are they perhaps a friend of yours?

Rose: Do you think all magic users know each other?

Kanaya: Yes?

Rose: No.

(Indeed! If I had the PINGAS I could terorrize all of Mobius!)

Kanaya: What is a pingas? Dave, do you know what a pingas is?

Dave: [laughing]

Kanaya: That is not helpful. Rose, do you know what a pingas is?

Rose: Oh my god Kanaya. The joke is it sounds like...

Kanaya: Pingas... pingas... Oh. Oh my.

Rose: [laughing]

(Dirk: I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al Quaeda.)

Kanaya: Is that... Dirk?

Dave: Yep.

Kanaya: Why is he doing this? I do not know what a Navy Seal is but I am quite confident that Dirk was never one.

Dave: Nah, he totally was.

Kanaya: What?

Dave: Yep. Had 69 confirmed kills in 'Nam. Nice.

Kanaya: Dave... you are aware that my generally even demeanor does not imply that I am unfamiliar with the concept of jokes, correct?

Dave: Theory versus practice, Kanaya.

Rose: Oh shut up, Dave.

Kanaya: Yes, please do what my hot wife suggests.

Rose: [laughing]

Kanaya: I think that has been quite enough for today. Please join me next time as I continue to pretend that I am not in on the silly jokes that my darling wife and her ridiculous brother continue to try to play on me.

Dave: What?

Kanaya: I was just saying that you are truly the dopest of the ass meme lords, Dave.

Dave: Nice.

Kanaya: [laughs]