By Michael Guy Bowman bowman Bandcamp YouTube YouTube mguybowman Twitter michaelguybowman.com Other mguybowman Instagram ← Squiddle Samba Previous track by this artist → I Don't Want to Miss a Thing Next track by this artist.
Released 8/26/2010.
Duration: 4:27.

Listen on YouTube.

Read artist commentary.

General contributors:

• Tavia Morra seeyoutmorra Tumblr SeeYouTMorra Twitter taviamorra.com Other → Maplehoof's Adventure Next general contribution by this artist (additional vocals)

Tracks that reference Mister Bowman Tells You About the Squiddles:

From Fandom:

• Bowmasquiddlewave V2 by VulkanShawl

Tracks that sample Mister Bowman Tells You About the Squiddles:

From Fandom:

• Bowmasquiddlewave V2 by VulkanShawl

Lyrics:

(Mister Bowman, can you tell us about the Squiddles?)
(Well of course, child!)
(Yay!)

Let me tell you of the Squiddles who live below the sea
They love to sing and dance and play just like you and me
They're squishy little creatures with tentacles of joy
And adorable eyes that bring delight to every girl and boy

Not much is known about the Squiddles, at least on our behalf
And many wonder why it is they always seem to laugh
Do they know some kind of secret? Well, maybe, just in part
But any child knows the real answer deep within their heart!

They laugh because they love
They sing because they're free
They splash because they're safe and sound
Below the deep blue sea

They leap because they like you
They swim because they're swell
They smile because they have so many
Stories they like to tell

The Squiddles live in a magical land
Below the waves in castles of sand
If you listen close you can hear them make their plans

(What kind of plans?)
(Happy Squiddle plans!)

They kiss because they can't help it
They wiggle because why not!
They prance because they're oh so proud
Of all the friends they've got (Hey guys, how's it going?)

They jump because they're joyful
They giggle because they're glad
They Squiddle because in Squiddle Land
No one's ever sad!

(All right, now we're going to do the whole song one more time, and this time I want everybody to join in. Parents, that means you too. If you don't know the words just look them up online, I'm sure they're there somewhere. Otherwise, sit real close to your television set and follow the bouncing ball and you're sure to be a winner! Are you ready, kids? All right, here it comes again. And a-one, and a-two, and a-one two three!)

They laugh because they love
They sing because they're free
They splash because they're safe and sound
Below the deep blue sea

They leap because they like you
They swim because they're swell
They smile because they have so many
Stories they like to tell

The Squiddles live in a magical land
Below the waves in castles of sand
If you listen close you can hear them make their plans

(What sort of plans?)
(Happy Squiddle plans!)

They kiss because they can't help it
They wiggle because why not
They prance because they're oh so proud
Of all the friends they've got

They jump because they're joyful
They giggle because they're glad
They Squiddle because in Squiddle Land
No one's ever sad!

Artist commentary:

Michael Guy Bowman:

"Mister Bowman Tells You About the Squiddles" is maybe 50% Donovan and 50% pure evil, although you wouldn't know it considering I ended up cutting a set of alternate lyrics that would have been more sadistic than the album's bizarre conclusion. Tavia gets her cameo as the little girl and some of the backup Squiddle voices.

Michael Guy Bowman: (Michael Guy Bowman Talks About His Homestuck Music, adapted to text) 7/20/2024

There's also Mister Bowman Tells You About the Squiddles, where I dared self-insert into the comic, as myself, doing vocals again. I wanted there to be, like, some creepy verses that were, um, "they laugh because they love, they swim because they're swell, they smile because they have no sense of heaven or of hell." I think that direction might have been funny, but... I was just playing it completely straight, I turned it into something I could take to conventions and like, just perform and have people actually sing along to. And you know, just, Captain Kangaroo style or whatever, everyone just becomes little kids singing along, y'know!