By Jonaya Riley jonayariley.com jonayariley.com JonayaRiley Twitter YouTube YouTube JonayaRiley Patreon altuniversewash SoundCloud JonayaRiley Instagram YouTube YouTube altuniversewash DeviantArt.
Cover art by Jonaya Riley jonayariley.com jonayariley.com JonayaRiley Twitter YouTube YouTube JonayaRiley Patreon altuniversewash SoundCloud JonayaRiley Instagram YouTube YouTube altuniversewash DeviantArt.
Released 1/4/2021.
Duration: 3:07.

Listen on Bandcamp.

Lyrics:

Kanaya: Hello, my name is Kanaya Maryam, and I am an internet streamer... Rose, Dave, is that the right term? Am I streaming on the Internet?

Dave: Dope-ass meme lord more like, am I right?

Kanaya: Oh, okay. My name is Kanaya Maryam and I am a dope-ass meme lord. Why are you both snickering?

Dave: Watch the memes!

Kanaya: I have been told that I should review a series of Earth memes. The reason for this has not been made sufficiently clear to me. I trust it will reveal itself in time. Or it will be revealed that a certain pair of siblings is perhaps, to use a human phrase, messing with me.

(Uh, here's something that's never happened before. I'm a pickle. I'm Pickle Riiiiiick!)

Kanaya: Ah. Here we have a man who has turned himself into a pickle. He is... Pickle Rick.

Dave: Funniest shit you ever saw?

Kanaya: Dave has asked me if this is the funniest shit I have ever viewed. I can assure you that it is not.

(HOLD ON! HOLD ON! HOLD ON... HER SISTER WAS A WITCH! RIGHT?!)

Kanaya: Are humans normally so passionate about witches? Rose, do you know of this witch? Are they perhaps a friend of yours?

Rose: Do you think all magic users know each other?

Kanaya: Yes?

Rose: No.

(Indeed! If I had the PINGAS I could terorrize all of Mobius!)

Kanaya: What is a pingas? Dave, do you know what a pingas is?

Dave: [laughing]

Kanaya: That is not helpful. Rose, do you know what a pingas is?

Rose: Oh my god Kanaya. The joke is it sounds like...

Kanaya: Pingas... pingas... Oh. Oh my.

Rose: [laughing]

(Dirk: I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al Quaeda.)

Kanaya: Is that... Dirk?

Dave: Yep.

Kanaya: Why is he doing this? I do not know what a Navy Seal is but I am quite confident that Dirk was never one.

Dave: Nah, he totally was.

Kanaya: What?

Dave: Yep. Had 69 confirmed kills in 'Nam. Nice.

Kanaya: Dave... you are aware that my generally even demeanor does not imply that I am unfamiliar with the concept of jokes, correct?

Dave: Theory versus practice, Kanaya.

Rose: Oh shut up, Dave.

Kanaya: Yes, please do what my hot wife suggests.

Rose: [laughing]

Kanaya: I think that has been quite enough for today. Please join me next time as I continue to pretend that I am not in on the silly jokes that my darling wife and her ridiculous brother continue to try to play on me.

Dave: What?

Kanaya: I was just saying that you are truly the dopest of the ass meme lords, Dave.

Dave: Nice.

Kanaya: [laughs]