By Gordian realbillwatterson SoundCloud.
Released 5/2/2017.
Duration: 6:20.

Listen on Bandcamp.

Contributors:

• Kal-la-kal-la kal-la-kal-la SoundCloud kal-la-kal-la Tumblr kal_la_kal_la Twitter kal-la-kal-la.com Other (vocals)
• Bin confetti-bin SoundCloud (vocals)
• nights itsnightsyo SoundCloud night_lights_ Twitter itsnightsyo Tumblr oceanfalls-official Tumblr oceanfalls Patreon oceanfalls.net Other (vocals)

Tracks that The Ballad of Megan Pouring references:

• The Ballad of Megan Pouring (instrumental) by Gordian
• Crime Sheen Inc. by NewPlumOrder

Tracks that The Ballad of Megan Pouring samples:

• The Ballad of Megan Pouring (instrumental) by Gordian

Tracks that reference The Ballad of Megan Pouring:

From Fandom:

• I'm mister presidant by ostrichlittledungeon
• AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA: A Single by Discfortune, Lucas Adelman, Makin, AlphaShire, CogentInvalid, cookiefonster, Double Hats Eyewear, GoomFloops, Isabella James, Interrobang, Minish, No Funny Name, Noisemaker, ft-rj, tempest2k, and WHATISLOSTINTHEMINES

Lyrics:

(Are you done with the salt shaker?)
(Oh my— you're not actually gonna eat that, are you?)
(Megan?)
(I'm almost done with it.)

Sodium chloride
Sodium chloride
Megan, you know that stuff's not good for you
But I love it!
Sodium chloride
Slow form of suicide
And it would suck if Megan died!

I hate my fucking job
I sell little pieces of toast
They look like fucking boats
That's why they're called shiptoasts

(Miss Pouring, if we don't break even this month I don't see how we can make it.)
(We'll make it.)
(But—)
(WHAT did I say, Nicole? Now get back to work.)
(This is all your fault, Andrea Hussie.)
(You bitch.)

I wanted to be a princess
And when I was a girl they told me that I could
"As long as you try your hardest"
Guess I should have asked them if I should
I founded a sub for Homestuck
Wish the fucking end was any good
Now all I wanna do is die
Someone tell me why-y-y (She hates her fucking job)

(Megan, this is your Doctor. The test results came back.)
(We tried to warn you about this, you know.)
(Anyway. We analyzed the salt content in your blood...)
(And we've come to the conclusion that, if you don't cut down your intake...)
(There's just no way you can survive.)

Someone, someone tell me
When I asked for this or
What my sin was to deserve this lot in life
I know I'm not the best of
People but you must believe
Me God, if you are out there I can change
I feel my self control
My salty sinful soul
Inside me slip away, I'll end my life today

Oh - oh - oh - oh - oh - oh (etc.)
MY NAME IS O, DID SOMEBODY RING?
FOR I AM GOD, THE LORD OF ALL, EVERY H*CKING THING
GOD HEARD THY PRAY'R AND HE WILL ANSWER THEE
COME HOME, MY CHILD, SING ALONG WITH US AND THEN YOU SHALL BE FREE

(Megan, listen. I'm sorry about what Hussie did to you.)
(I want to make sure what she did never happens to anyone again.)
(She's burning in hell as we speak, being forced to make a video game that will never be completed.)
(If you come with me and ost back to heaven, we can all make high quality rips for eternity.)
(Megan... will you marry me?)
(Yes! I will!)

(No way Sheen, no way Sheen, you're not as big a fan of Jimmy's dad as I am!)
(No way Sheen, no way Sheen, you're not as big a fan of Jimmy's dad as I am!)

Cool and new web comic
Cool and new web comic
It saved the fandom and Megan too (It's true!)
Best fanmade property
Better than Hiveswap'll be
O, and it's all because of you!
The music is shit and yet good too!
What can we say, it's Cool and New!