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Cool and New Homestuck 3 - Commentary

3.8k words across 96 entries.

Cool and New Homestuck 3 Listen on: Bandcamp

Cool and New Music Team:

(Cool and New Homestuck 3 — video playlist rescoring Homestuck flashes)

William Leonard: (Bonus Art Contributor)

"No Drama" CANMT-tan:

Spoopy Piano o-o; Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

bobthetacocat: (Composer)

After I started my Gaster's theme rip, (which you can find on the Cool And New Music Team Youtube Channel, I decideed to include Showtime (Piano Refrain) into the mix (which I later removed to not repeat the joke.) After I exported what I had at the moment and put the track in the Discord chat, OpsCat pointed out that Showtime worked well in the mix, and that Showtime Piano Refrain wasn't taken for CANHS3. I realized this was my time to shine.

And by 'time to shine' I mean 'time to shove memes into a midi and then put it through the Gaster piano, and also add the rct theme at the end because I could.'

Apparently I count as a composer now, so that's cool (and new), I guess.

Shadok: (Artist)

It's gaster except it's john bamboozled again

XP boogie Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

cookiefonster: (Composer)

I just adapted an old mashup Felix made because I thought it would be fitting for Sburb's loading screen. That's all.

koba: (Artist)

Hi I helped I guess.

nights: (Artist)

Apparently I can make fitting art for a song using playable basslines —koykoy

i pulled out my old viola which i hadnt touched in years and did an RCT doodle because it was an emergency Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

cookiefonster: (Composer)

i am a very experienced piano player

VulkanShawl: (Artist)

Hey remember when i had the job to do tycoonival's art? well this is a reference to that art. also hot jhon is the key for being the best artist. and violincoaster tycoon by shawl copyright 2009-2016

JHON PLAY US A DITTY Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

meems: (Composer)

As I was looking through the possible flashes to work on, nothing struck me with more joy than JOHN THIS IS NO TIME FOR SLUMBER. Right when I heard that first group of violins come in in the original song, it was at that point, I knew. I had to do my work. It was a sunny September day. There was a humid summer air, yet, it felt as if the end of the unbearable heat was in sight. I opened up my DAW of choice, and knew what had to be done. As the song came together, there was only one thing that I could think of that would make this song great. Little did I know that this choice would have immediate repercussions on this song. As I placed the GM Trumpet onto the pattern, my heart sank. However, this sinking wasn't because of sadness, it was because of great joy. I had created a masterpiece. This masterpiece, however, had to be handled masterfully. There was only one thing that I could do: A sprite replacement. The following is a screenshot of the commentary spreadsheet, where a heated 'discussion' took place on this track. I have decided preserve its original format in the spirits of both preservations and compactness.As I opened up Flash, and replaced all of the sprites with our favorite protagonist, the work only got better from there. I replaced the audio, and moved the cursor over to the "Preview" button. Did I want to click it? Did I want to find out what would happen if I pressed that button. Yes. Yes I did. I clicked play. My jaw dropped. It was as if I was in a pit of crocodiles, dauntlessly staring death into the eyes, and proceeding to say "fuck you", as this magnificent savior rescues me. Tears were streaming down my face. Emotions were being tampered with. It was a work of gods. I exported my masterpiece, and from then on, the world was never the same.

Interrobang: (Compiler)

The following is a screenshot of the commentary spreadsheet, where a heated 'discussion' took place on this track. I have decided preserve its original format in the spirits of both preservations and compactness

Makin: (Missing the point)

It's my dishonorable duty to transcribe the commentary in the image above against all possible spirits.

cookiefonster: (Interloper)

for the last time trumpets aren't that funny

meems: (Composer)

i can't undo the past

cookiefonster: (Interloper)

dude trumpets are what made me think you were some kind of bizarre shitposter even though youre apparently not

meems: (Composer)

I mean. You're not wrong. I am a bizarre shitposter. This song was a result of a misconception that I had because I thought that CANWC only wanted low-quality, low-effort "shitposts". I have since learned from my ways.

StarlightCalliope: (Artist)

GUYS LET ME WRITE MY OWN COMMENTARY IN THIS SPOT FFS. Anyways. littel king jhon in the floud is the greatest anime of 2016, please wathces it,,, its very specials to us all

Skaian Skaia of Skaia Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

Wheals: (Composer)

"What's the deal with all those songs that start with ""Skaian"" or end with ""of Skaia""???

Like my later song on the album, this was me messing around on my piano, but making a more serious thingie. Doing CANHS in a more serious manner (all my other ones have been jokes) is a funny thing; you have to make a song that fits the feel of the flash while avoiding replicating the original song. I got a boost here by not being the first person to replace the music on this flash; Radiation did it when Bolin left, and I still prefer the original, which is why the opening is a riff on his opening. I went for a much softer approach than Toby's harsh synths/strings for the second half, too.

Formation is an underrated motif, even if my transcription is rather imperfect.

nights: (Artist)

i drew this with a broken mouse. the wheel doesnt work. the right click and the left click do double clicks at random. i want you to know how much suffering ive endured, only to be told that nobody has to time to buy me a new mouse. i will forever have to live with a broken mouse, for the rest of my life. also, this track is good and deserves better art.

Wheals: (Composer)

This art is good and deserves a better track.

Vagaboing Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

CogentInvalid: (Composer)

This was essentially an exercise in finding the stupidest instruments possible. A quartet for jawharp, kazoo, tuba, and Steve from Blue's Clues.

jd6: (Artist)

Seeing the mayor fly freely in the sky with some flying green pogos makes me happy

Sweet Haunt and Hella Bass Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

cookiefonster: (Composer)

Apparently I can write playable basslines.

Pipko Fanfare: (Composer)

Apparently I can play writable basslines.

koykoy13: (Artist)

Apparently I can make fitting art for a song using playable basslines.

Harleband 2: The return of Harleband Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

413: (Composer)

Harleband 1 had to have been the greatest and most beloved song of the [S] CaNH Disk 1 Discography, and as such it was my duty to reinovate it from the ground up to deliver a quality sequal... not the sequal this world begged me to not make, but the sequal I made despite the flipant ironic remarks as to how terrible it was.

Shadok: (Artist)

Inspired by this masterpiece: https://coolandnewwebcomic.bandcamp.com/track/harleband

pnoy crhlae Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

Isoleucine: (Composer)

This song was originally called something like "pony chorale(future instuments mix)" and It was cool and stuff but then my drive died and I had to remake it and so this time I was like, how much weirder can I make this? Bam! Dedicated Theremin VST, lofi kick, some fun dist on a dissonance,etc. So yeah I mean it's cool. Who knew you could use Fruity Kick for something? I also kind of think it came out spoopy.

Shadok: (Artist)

Just a screenshot from this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9A21SLVMwI

Unbreakable Unity Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

MrCheeze: (Composer)

I liek this song

koykoy13: (Artist)

Not so unbreakable anymore

Actually, The Plot Snaps in Place Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

SplitSuns: (Composer)

My goal with this song was to take the original and see how many leitmotifs I could stuff it with. They're designed to match up with the cloud visions Jade experiences in the accompanying Flash. Well, except for that one part where RCT plays. For the last few seconds I came up with my own chord progression that, looking back on it, sounds kind of like Falling Down. Disclaimer: any resemblances to other video games are completely coincidental.

Ephemerald: (Artist)

I liked the imagery of the Skaian clouds, and although this scene isn't in the actual Flash this song is based off of, I thought it felt appropriate. It was a pain in the ass removing all the stardust clogs from that panel (the actual one is super glitchy) but I'm proud of the effect.

Also - clouns. Let's talk about them. You see, when I was a young child, I would go to the beach every summer and head on down to the boardwalk, full of amusements and rigged games. And there were clowns there, that held pies and honked their noses. I was terrified, and my whole family kind of shrugged. They hated clowns. I hate clowns. You should hate clowns.

...Wait. I was supposed to be talking about clouns. With a ""u."" Silly me. Just substitute clown for cloun and you'll get basically the same thing.

i knew you was a punk Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

Noisemaker: (Composer)

I'm not really sure what i was expecting when i took on this challenge but all i can say is that it would be nothing without bambosh's legendary vocals

Bambosh: (Composer)

Ow, my throat

Shadok: (Artist)

Imagine this bodypillow irl

the worst song on the soundtrack Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

cookiefonster: (Interloper)

If this song had Snow Halation in it, it wouldn't be the worst song on the soundtrack anymore.

StarlightCalliope: (Composer)

Cookie, please, we all know that We Are Number One is a vastly superior Siiva meme to Snow Halation. Snow Halation would make this the worstest song on the soundtrack. Anyways, I'll start talking about the song itself. Originally, I was inspired by how one Homestuck Musician, (if I recall correctly it was Jit,) said that he felt like Crystalanthemums was going to be Jade's Land Theme. As this was to be a remix for Jade's Land reveal, my original starting concept was, "Frost but with Crystalanthemums." I had started a version of this concept back before CANH2 had even been released, although I mostly reworked this old version from the ground up. The only thing that really remained unchanged was the Violin Arpeggio. I had planned to use Frog Forager as a continuation melody to Crystalanthemums at this time, but that melody didn't quite seem to fit the song, and I instead replaced it with a change to the Drum Beat at that point (said drum beat pretty heavily inspired/referencing Crystamanthequins or whatever the name was for the one in [S] Make Her Pay. One part of this song I am overall dissatisfied with is the Cymbals that come in near the end of the portion referencing Courser. I originally had a version where I had arranged the Cymbals in a manner where I was happy with them, but this version was poorly mastered and I was too lazy to transcribe what I had done for the old version. Anyways, I feel like this song was very much useful in helping me figure out how to better arrange orchestral percussion lines and to not make them completely uninteresting.

koykoy13: (Artist)

Sunslammer is my music waifu Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

cookiefonster: (Composer)

Read the title

Shadok: (Artist)

The goal was to make a normal art then add furr

AAAAAAAAAAAAA (Post-canon version) Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

Makin: (Composer)

"Hey, I'll learn to use autotune. Wait shit, turns out after all this hard work it sounds like shit because you can't autotune yells. Wait shit, that just makes it all better."

olkiswerve: (Artist)

IN THE COURT OF THE COOL AND NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

a third goddamn countdown Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

cookiefonster: (Composer)

For this one I adapted my countdown arrangement of Jungle #3 to sync with this flash, and I think I put it to pretty good use. Just as Act 1 ends with a countdown version of Sburban Jungle, cool and new Act 6 Act 1 ends with a countdown version of Jungle #3. Better yet it replaces literally just windy sound effects.

Shadok: (Artist)

The bad thing is the explosion you nutshack

Despite All My Rage, I Am Still Just a Nic in a Cage Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

SplitSuns: (Composer)

What's the logical step past spooky boner-inducing Nic Cage? Nightmare Fuel Nic Cage.

I'm proud of this. I shouldn't be but I am.

Help me.

SplitSuns: (Artist)

WITHIN THE RAMBLINGS OF ONE WARPED BY AGE
LIES THE TERRIBLE SECRET OF NICOLAS CAGE
A PROFESSIONAL ACTOR OF RIDICULE AND SHAME
YET NOW ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS PLAY A GAMES
O LOOK THROUGH THESE SOUNDS FROM A PECULIAR MAN
TO ANSWER THE QUESTION: WHAT IS HIS PLAN?
THOUGH THE ANSWER, YOU'LL FIND, IS DESPITE ALL THAT'S THERE,
HE REMAINS NOTHING MORE THAN A PRICKLY PEAR

ULTRA CHORALE REMIX MEDLEY Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

cookiefonster: (Composer)

We need more songs like this

MrCheeze: (Exile)

Puts Garden of Eden to shame tbh

cookiefonster: (Artist)

I hope cookie appreciates this track art, i put a fuck ton of work into it

Tiny Chorale Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

TirantBacon: (Composer)

I didn't really have a proper idea for this song at all. To be honest, this song was more of an attempt at an overly dramatic orchestral version of Pony Chorale, which was quite funny to note as this is a rather large song for a smol pony.

Shadok: (Artist)

justascreenshotfromthis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G38hwkte5u4

Moody Nigra Shit Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

TirantBacon: (Composer)

What do you mean this isn't original or funny? I'm sorry you need to speak up I can't heaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

TirantBacon: (Artist)

¿¿¿¿¿Hi is this going to be actual commentary??????? Don't plague me with your upside down question marks you piece of utter shit. HOW DARE you assume that i'd make ACTUAL commentary. You DISGUST me

the version we had of this was unusable and we had like one day to replace it so yazshu whipped out his kazoo and here we are Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

yazshu: (Composer)

I dont know who made the title of this track but it basically explained everything i was going to say here

cookiefonster: (Artist)

There can never be enough track art of jhon playing random instruments

JANE ENGAGES WITH SOME MEMES Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

olkiswerve: (Composer)

Sorry Bambosh

Yara: (Artist)

A wise gay person once told me "my body is a temple for anus" and to this day, I still closely follow these sacred words.

jane blast off but to the tune of we are number one but in major but with each hey being replaced with ostrichlittledungeon saying nyah but that being overlayed with voice clips from game grumps back when jontron and arin were the two grumps Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

StarlightCalliope: (Composer)

I don't know what compelled me to create this track in all honesty. The person that was signed up to do this track apparently hadn't signed themselves up, so I decided to take this spot. A few days prior to me claiming this spot, ost had said, "Nyah," in a really cute voice on their private server, and I had recorded it. I decided to do a full song that would include it. Of course, the nyahs slowly got drowned out as I added more to the song. I remembered that there was a relevant quote from Game Grumps when I was rewatching the flash, and then I overlayed that ontop of the nyahs and We Are Number One that I had put into the project file. All in all, definitely the best song I've ever made.

Shadok: (Artist)

The trickster mode always gave me a powerpuff girls vibe for some reason

While CaNWC > Homestuck Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

413: (Composer)

TBH I forget everything about this song lol. Not even going to listen to it to find out what it sounded like.

Shadok: (Artist)

CANWC is almost at 413 hearts

Wheals: (From the Present)

Its past 413

Slight Delay Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

413: (Composer)

...Forget this one too. Still not listening to it. Pretty sure it's just the first few notes played over-and-over again, which sounded amazing in theory, and even better in practice.

Wheals: (Substitute)

Avocado didn't have any commentary so i just wanted to say that 413's elevatorstuck remixes give me life

Homoshack Anthem Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

Difarem: (Composer)

This track sucked so much LMMS literally refused to load it after having rendered it. No seriously it crashes every time i try to load it.

VulkanShawl: (Artist)

It's just the nutshack logo (the arrow shit) but looking like how caliborn would draw it (can you kill me now for using fucking comic sans?)

Homoshack Anthem Chef's Cut of the Day Edition Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

Wheals: (Composer)

When I got my electric keyboard a few months ago, I wondered "what am I going to do with the dual voice functionality and the split voice functionality and the auto-harmony functionality and all these instruments like 'horse'??" Well, now I know. I managed to nail this in the first take, though I planned out what instruments I'd be using ahead of time.

Ephemerald: (Artist)

Act 6 Act 6 Act 5 is one of my favorite flashes in the comic solely because of its comedic value, so I wanted to do the song justice with my artwork. And what better way to do that than by including some PURE ART SKILL? I know that that pose shows up in A6A6A4 (and later in A7), and not in this act, but the opportunity was too good for me to pass up. I used the actual PURE ART SKILLS as reference for Caliborn's body, added some lasers and gradients for effects, and it was good to go. But there was something missing. Something that the art so desperately needed. What I'd created, I came to realize, wasn't actually art at all. Like Cool and New Webcomic, it was a shaker of boundaries - a metastasizing amalgam of memes that toppled the boundaries between shitposts and reality. This didn't involve PURE ART SKILL at all, I realized. It was PURE "O" SKILL.

Wheals: (Composer)

Once again my music got far better art than it deserved

Please help me I am in pain Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

GoomFloops: (Composer)

Wow, how relevant! How new! This song represents the empty joy that comes from memes

Shadok: (Artist)

I was going to animate this but meh this is better

7 GRAND END Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

Discfortune: (Composer, 0:00-0:30)

Triplets and sixteenths suck together but it's too late to change that now.

koba: (Composer, 0:30-0:51)

So this was fun to work on. I tried making something that wasn't totally a midi, and I think it came out pretty well. Also, merry Christmas.

SplitSuns: (Composer, 0:51-1:02)

Fun fact: originally I accidentally made this part twice as long as it should have been. Whoops! At least we all figured it out before this thing was put together. Anyways, this part of the song ended up sounding pretty spacey and epic, and to me at least, not unlike something C418 would compose. Go check him out, he made the music for Minecraft and is a pretty cool guy.

Minish: (Composer, 1:02-1:26)

First music I've contributed to the team since Volume 2, actually. I took a break from the team because I couldn't do anything original and lacked the proper motivation to work on the CANMT. I hope to come back to it one day, but no promises. Also, the original version I produced is absolute garbage, Hadron deserves any and all praise.

Hadron: (Composer, 1:02-1:56)

Hey this is hadron and I'm cool like sunglass emoticon.

TirantBacon: (Composer, 1:21-1:56)

Fun fact 2x combo: I didn't actually make this song for act7 originally. Regardless of that, it was a pleasure to make this song for any productive work, and to have hadron remake it in his own style. This song was made without any real acquired inspiration from other songs, which believe it or not is what I typically don't do when I make music. I really like the way I arranged the song, and how it sorta shifts into a piratey theme towards the second half in the full version (I'm not sure if that makes it into the overall act 7 theme).

Wheals: (Composer, 2:12-2:35)

CRASH. I had a lot of fun with this, my first time trying anything orchestral, and it's probably the best thing I've made so far. For a little extra fun I made it entirely with one sample pack that I had just gotten. Unfortunately I scrapped my original plan to use Voidlight in this section, so the song has still never been referenced.

WHATISLOSTINTHEMINES: (Composer, 2:35-3:21)

SUDDENLY, THE LONGEST PART WRITTEN BY ONE PERSON COMES. This section was made in the span of about 2 days, after the people originally slotted in for this section bailed/didn't finish/were rejected. I think it kind of shows? Still, even if I'm not entirely happy with my piece for this collaboration, it at least blends well with the next section. (Fun fact, originally, the second half of this was just snow halation layered over the original audio. Sadly, that was rejected, but I kept its memory alive with a snow halation piano arrangement instead.)

Isoleucine: (Composer, 3:21-3:57)

I was like, "hey you know how flare changes the tone with the backing? Let me do that, except different!" So I did the piano and stuff on top of the melody, and then it just kind of unwound from there, adding more and more motifs and then more flare because it's the best motif. Fun fact: there's 6 synths here. 2 additive, 1 subtractive, and 3 FM of sorts. It works. Pretty good I guess.

ostrichlittledungeon: (Composer, 3:57-4:24)

Say there, have you heard the story about the Donkey Ollie Ollie? Say there, have you heard the story? Ollie is his name. Everywhere that Donkey Ollie travels, folks may shout hooray! Say there, have you heard the story? Ollie is his name. Ollie is his naaaaaaaaaaame.

Noisemaker: (Composer, 4:24-4:56)

Buffskull just went super saiyan.

Makin: (Wiki Rando, 4:24-4:56)

Hey, this later became Buffskull and got a full version!

Cecily Renns: (Composer, 5:35-6:05)

I was the first one to do anything for ACT 7, but in the end this part feels fairly discordant because of its preceding parts.

cookiefonster: (Composer, 6:05-6:20)

I just built off the previous part with Smash Mouth on flute and other stuff I guess. The main lesson I got from making these 15 seconds of music is that orchestra bullshit is easy as fuck to make. Also the bowman sounds playing Arisen Anew were supposed to be synced with Aradia but Hadron messed that up.

Pipko Fanfare: (Composer, 6:35-6:55)

Does this count as 3, 4, or 5 motifs? Even I don't know at this point!

SplitSuns, with Hadron: (Composer, 6:55-7:20)

When Hadron offered to make this part a collab, I jumped at the opportunity to do so. The instrumentation I implemented is pretty similar to my previous contribution to this track, which I think is nice as it offers some more cohesiveness overall. Maybe.

ft-rj: (Composer, 6:55-7:20)

I made this section before it was surrounded by good musicians. That is all. (Also, bonus bowman for 7:20 timestamp). Who likes my extremely good leitmotif usage? Not me. Also, DVS sax. Why not. My inspiration from this came from the video, the 7:20 timestamp, and my favourite motif ever (unintentional).

Hadron: (Composer, 7:50-8:19)

See the cool thing about Jhon Egbrets What If? ROLLERCOASTERS: Fates is that, in the easy version of the game where you build all metal coasters, Dadd Egbret is your dad; but in the hard version of the game where you only build wooden coasters, Obana is your dad. It's meant to be symbolism for the shaken economy; that's why your wooden coasters fail a lot more than your metal coasters. However, it makes you feel glad when the coaster stays up, much like how Obana might feel if the economy stayed up. Anyways this is a motif from that game also there's FORMATION which is a pretty good song by a cool guy also it's going to be remixed by some other guy but I don't know when and how but he is a cool guy

Interrobang: (Composer, 8:19-9:03)

The one thing that I knew had to be in the final section of Act 7 was Roundabout. Initially I attempted to fuse the end of that song with Even in Death, but that idea had little success. Frustrated, I settled for the acoustic guitar part of beginning of the piece (with some changes) and added in some atmosphere, which noatably included Foley, used near the very beginning of the comic. Finally, after deciding that Yes's original resolution was not professional enough, I added just a splash of another song that I felt represented some of the fandom's reaction to that ending - see if you can spot it!

nights: (Artist)

Paint crashed while I was drawing this so I had to friccin redo it a couple times. Please enjoy the product of my eternal suffering.

Revisit/Rewind Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

ostrichlittledungeon: (Composer)

I was going to make it better but my computer's shit and logic broke, so I lost half the project file. Makin wanted me to remake it but I'm lazy. Sorry about the lack of panning and the bad drums.

nights: (Artist)

I drew this with 3 babies in my lap please enjoy it

Resend Listen on: Bandcamp, YouTube

Noisemaker: (Composer)

I initially made this as a submission for credits about a month before the deadline, and proceeded to not finish it until 45 minutes before the deadline, hence the uncompleted song (seriously its like 3 minutes shorter than [S] Credits is), but hey everything worked out in the end :^)

Interrobang: (Booklet Maker)

Glad to be done with these tbh (for now at least)

View original file ( kB MB). (Heads up! If you're on a mobile plan, this is a large download.)