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Cool and New Homestuck - Commentary

4.8k words across 40 entries.

Album commentary


(Cool and New Homestuck — video playlist rescoring Homestuck flashes)


Cool and New Homestuck is some kind of horrifying amalgamation between Homestuck's iconic flash animations, and the CANWC Music Team's iconic shitty music. I tell a lie though, because we kind of forgot to make this album shit.



(Trailer - Cool and New Homestuck)


(Community listening stream w/ chat)

Backyard Dumb


When it’s a month until release, you’re bored out of your mind, and you see the first slot in the album completely untouched, what do you do? Some would probably shoot a message back to the rest of the team, who are all no doubt more skilled than I am at composiion. Some would just leave it alone, rightfully assuming another team member would grab it. Or then you could just do what I did, max out microphone levels, and practically eat the thing for forty seconds. I’m ecstatic that this is the first thing people will see of Cool and New Homestuck, and I’ll probably find it hilarious if anyone closes the album because of it. It’s an incredible album, by the way. We’ve got some really talented people on the team, who went at it at full force. Great moves, guys. Keep it up. Proud of you.

Oh and shoutouts to Simpleflips Noisemaker for buying an otamatone and willingly giving me a sample of it, despite knowing exactly what it was going towards.

Bambosh here again. 413 was too tired to write any commentary and told me to markov chain it for him. I don’t know why I’d do that though, when I’ve just been handed something like 22 boxes to shitpost in on a silver platter. Brace yourselves. If you see 413 as the artist [or composer] credit, it’s gonna be me in the box. It’s a Bambosh box. A Bambox.

Showtime (Marching Band)


I’m not sure what 413 did to make this song, but it sounds like he chucked the original Showtime chiptune into a midi converter and changed some of the midi instruments around. I kind of unironically love this song though. Despite how chaotic it is, it’s inexplicably satisfying to listen to.

Oh and by the way this one was an absolute pain to sync to the video. You’d think it would be easy, just chuck it over the thing and call it a day but no. There’s only like 30 seconds of content in the flash, and no way to easily isolate the sound effects from the original song. As of writing this, I still don’t have a solution. But hey there’s still a week to release I’m sure it’ll be fine hahahahahahahaha oh god help


So yeah, I worked on this one. It was a fairly simple GIMP shop where I just put some clip art, previously used assets and some text onto a picture of that one road that’s famous because of the Beatles.
At this point I’d like to give a shoutout to Remember that shit? It’s still going. I got a code, fuckers, haha, SK-RIDDLE-SOLVE. If that isn’t a blast from the past, I don’t know what is, I mean yeah how about that album art.

Sburban Cascantdown


To be completely honest it’s just Cascante from Voulem 1. I regret not using my otamatone but at least Bambosh got some sweet use out of it.


I wasn’t the original artist for this piece. I stole it. I stole the rights to use this piece. 413 was originally meant to do it, he made a concept and everything. In fact, I think it was one of the first things that ended up even being made for the album, several months ago. But then it just sat there, and people forgot it wasn’t meant to be the final copy? So I just sort of swooped in and finished it off while nobody was looking.



Aggrieve! by wheals is licensed under a cc-by-nc-sa Creative Commons License.

Aggrieve! by wheals is licensed under a cc-by-nc-sa Creative Commons License.

Aggrieve! by wheals is licensed under a cc-by-nc-sa Creative Commons License.

Aggrieve! by wheals is licensed under a cc-by-nc-sa Creative Commons License.

Aggrieve! by wheals is licensed under a cc-by-nc-sa Creative Commons License.


Anything that’s not rose in this art was done with my left hand and way too high of a jitter setting. the horse was originally maplehoof, but wheals had the amazing idea to turn it into luke’s symbol in redditstuck. of course, I’m talking about the one the only revered veteran Doctor Chestnut Gallopsy, Ph.D. Esquire the Third, Connoisseur of Fine Arts. speaking of fine arts, that face is fucking beautiful holy shit


All I did was give the horse Doctor Chestnut Gallopsby’s colors. I can use the bucket tool in!



I really enjoyed the original Upward Movement, and felt that the new one would have to be even better to do the original justice. I have been infatuated with music that is more synthesised ever since I gave the Hotline Miami soundtrack a listen, so there is some inspiration there. The first version of this redvx had base midi drums and a guitar synthesizer and seemed off, so I looked up how to make synths like those in Hotline Miami and similar synthwave creations. After throwing on a new drum kit and synth, the song surprised me by actually sounding good. I’d like to thank Makin and others for giving the original a listen and telling me how to fix it, and the rest of the music and art team for putting out this COOL and NEW masterpiece. :JaedAngery:


I thought of how the Cool and New version of this flash would go, and I remembered how Jhon moved around once or twice. The joke was obvious after that.


Let the record show that the dabe text in this artwork was so pixellated that I had to re-write over it, which is what you see now

Cascantan Reversal


To be completely honest it’s just Sburban Cascantdown from 10 minutes ago but it slows down at the end

(will music for food)


Our one standard is that it has to be 1400x1400 (even though Bandcamp scales it down to 700x700!). So in redoing it, I decided to keep the original concept while using the freshest possible Bowmeme.



Ost didn’t give me any commentary, so I did it for them.

I’m Ostrichlittledungeon, and this is my Discord server. I work here with my musicians and artists, and my @Mod Assist, Mira. Every song here has a story and a track art. One thing I’ve learned over the past 2 months? You never know what’s gonna be in that album.


This is another silly meme one I did, as I tend to do. It’s all about finding that perfect 「G O L D E N R A T I O」 of content to memes and meme spacing. Remember kids, you should read Jojostuck if you want to go to heaven.

Heedful Fads


It’s pretty much just Dead Shuffle with crappier instrumentation and a few deliberately wrong notes. To mix it up a bit I changed the bassline to the melody for Licord Nacrasty in the 3rd “verse”. Also, Heedful Fads is an anagram of Dead Shuffle, in case you were wondering.


This is the best serious cover I’ve done so far. It’s fucking great. I love it and I’m super proud, even if it was a fairly simple job. I’ve also got a really nice version with the Vento Aureo gangsters, which I guess I’ll use somewhere else if there’s interest. But damn, this cover’s great.



This one isn’t all THAT special, I guess. It’s pretty much just a Beatdown cover.

(stick around for round 2 for the gud stuff)


Part one of a three part trilogy, for both art and song. Absolutely poetic. Each one of the three pieces of art 413 created for are of the same scene, but in a different style. HOW AMBITIOUS OF HIM HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM



I’m not really sure what to say about this one. It’s kind of just

The rest of that sentence can remain blank. Man, commenting on someone else’s stuff is difficult. I’m sure there was like, a really interesting story behind the creation that I’ll never be able to tell because I’m a big ol’ dumbo


I made the track art for this song using a frame I screenshotted from the flash itself, which you can find here. Also, the track art was actually cropped. If you want the original, you can find it here.

Also Minish on Kazoo is cancelled indefinitely sorry folks



dunnn duh-du-du-dun dunnn duh-dun du-dundah-dun-dah

(to bee honest this is one of my favorite tracks I’ve done)


Part ⅔! Haha, google docs just changed that fraction into a single character and I don’t even know if the program being used to create the PDF supports them. BEST OF LUCK


⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔ ⅔

Chorale for Caliborn



You know it’s actually really difficult to write stuff without any experiences to base it on. I’m an inch away from just pasting memes in. Urgh, how many of these do I have left to do? No you know what I’m not counting it’ll only make finishing these harder. Gotta stay strong.

Fuck it
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello?
- Barry?
- Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I’m excited.
Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That’s me!
- Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000

Reveilleawesome- Sad Polka Mix (With Gong) (No Vocals)


Bambosh said “BE CREATIVE” and this is the result. Also, I wanted to throw in something a little lighthearted to contrast all of the other TOP QUALITY songs in this album.


I’m shit at drawing accordions but I hope it was worth it.

Oh God


So in this song, I added a bunch of people losing their god damn minds because that is what John does in this scene. It’s fitting and it’s a short burst of memey fun. I won’t say more since otherwise this’d be longer to read than it takes to listen to the song.



PS: The Office is actually a pretty good show, worth watching. Troll 2 isn’t.

The Beginning of Something Really Electronic


I'm sorry.


Something I threw together as there was art needed.

So coooooool!



I’m pretty happy with this one, but it doesn’t really work as a standalone song because it’s trying pretty hard to sync to the animation (maybe i’ll do an extended version wink wonk)


its the third onee. youvea ll been waitti ng for it.

And heeer it iss.

SFXan Jungle


Don’t give this man soundfonts and free time.

No Funny Name:

Um okay so I didn’t do this track. Nor this art. Nor have I even listened to this track. But I’m sure at the very least you enjoyed listening to it, after all you cared enough to look at the creators commentary, but unfortunatly it doesn’t have any, so you get this shit instead

Three in the Morning (4 1/3 Hours Late Remix; CaNon edit)




Atomyk Scy-Fy


Atomyk Ebonpyre...



I wanted to throw in a tiny bit of my signature crappy art for this album, and I decided to do something for this song. I wanted to have Dave doing some sci-fi thing but I wasn’t sure what. Then someone suggested I should do naked Dabe in space, and that’s what I did. I think it almost looks good with somewhat decent shading and a convincing space background stock photo.

Venom Pools for Eons

Cecily Renns:

First song I made for the album. If you look hard into Black, the structuring is pretty weird. It goes 9 bars then it goes to normal 8 bars and it does THREE tempo changes. Thankfully, the MIDI I had covered all of these, so the syncing wasn’t too hard.

Musically, it’s Black but with more COOL AND NEW MELODIES. Which consists of Archagent Everlasting, Unity of Thorns, and a bit of an original thing I composed in five minutes.

The ending is not synced because WHAT THE FUCK I DONT EVEN KNOW. I didn’t know how to solve it so I just made the ending a bit longer and there. Also it has “vaporwave go down” as cookie describes it replacing vaporwave Sburban Jungle. Thought it was a fun idea.




Checkmate (Should I use Stalemate instead since there's already a song called Checkmate?)


Oh Jesus, is this going to be the actual name now?

...i’ll roll with it i like it anyway


I just shittily redrew a scene from WV?: Rise Up and that’s basically it. I kinda lagged behind because of IRL shit but after 5 days and 29 pings from Makin I finally finished it.

PS: No, I’m not apologizing for using the same type of brush on every fucking thing on this art. Fuck you

How do I live? (Put the quality back in the album version)


Oh wow a box with my own name in it for once.
This is refreshing.
The process of making this song was largely just seeing just how well I could wrangle this shitty ocarina I got for preordering Ocarina of Time 3D into doing what I wanted it to. I was originally going to sing the lyrics myself, but 413 was kind enough to lend TTS vocals, and there was no way I could look that gift horse in the mouth. The best you get is my shitty voice passed through seventy filters and used as a backing track. You’re welcome.


I guess this is the best meme one I’ve done so far. The Con Air poster was a bit of a bitch to make into 1400 x 1400 but it worked out in the end.


go down (cool and new Mix) (feat. John J "Damn, Now Those Are Some Tunes" Renns)


413 made some art for this, but it was waaaaay to small. We decided to instead use the original art for Voul. 1’s Go Down (Dif didn’t like it) instead. Did I mention we didn’t ask Mira’s permission to use it? No? Well, we didn’t. What do you think this is, Pixar?



Cecily Renns:

go down is definitely my favorite vol 1 song. It is the complete opposite of Descend - while Descend was loud, jam packed, filled with different motifs and sounds, and overall fucking crazy, go down is more simple, even... relaxing? Not *that* many motifs, but still enough to call it a great medley, combining different - at the time marginally related to CANWC - melodies.
I’ve always wanted to remix it, while keeping that simpleness to it. You can probably see that in the beginning - just piano, bass and Upward Movement drums. But as I continued with the song, it became probably as loud as Descend. It has what, 20 or something melodies in it now? Can’t really keep track.
I think overall I did a good job of making a cohesive yet a diverse medley with different shit going on. Also I am keeping the fucking name. It is a good name

0:03 Flare by Clark Powell
Upward Movement by Kalibration
Megalovania by Toby Fox

0:21 Beatdown by Curt Blakeslee
0:39 Upward Movement by Kalibration (again)
0:48 Unity of Thorns (Rose part)
0:52 Even in Death by Clark Powell
0:54 Under the Hat by Erik Scheele

0:57 Unity of Thorns (Jack part)
the bleep-boops are suppose to be reminicent of Liquid Negrocity

1:08 Explore by Geroge Buzinkai and Bowman
1:11 licord nacrasty by Sir Felix
1:19 Skaian Summoning by Toby Fox
1:24 Reveleawesome by Malcolm Brown

1:33 Venom Pools for Eons
RollerCoaster Tycoon Title Screen by Allister Brimble

1:37 Archagent Everlasting
1:42 Flare by Clark Powell (2x faster)
1:50 Courser by Seth Peelle and Alexander Rosetti
2:00 Homestuck Anthem by Clark Powell
2:09 Gardener by Steve Everson (original song by Robert J! Lake)
2:18 Sunsetter by Toby Fox
2:31 Skaian Summoning by Toby Fox

2:42 Atomyk Ebonpyre by Toby Fox
Liquid Negrocity by Toby Fox

2:51 Tock by Cryptanark
3:01 JoJo ~Sono Chi no Sadame~ by Kohei Tanaka
3:18 Showtime by Malcolm Brown
3:23 Gardener by Steve Everson (original song by Robert J! Lake) (again)

3:27 Courser by Seth Peelle and Alex Rosetti (on the left pan, with the horns)
RollerCoaster Tycoon Title Screen by Allister Brimble (on the right pan, with the violin)

3:45 Sburban Jungle by Bowman
3:50 Homestuck Anthem by Clark Powell
3:54 Skies of Skaia by Mark Hadley
3:58 RollerCoaster Tycoon Title Screen by Allister Brimble

4:03 Flare by Clark Powell (2x faster, modified near the end)
Sburban Jungle by Bowman (on the left pan)
Homestuck Anthem by Clark Powell

4:12 Homestuck Anthem by Clark Powell
4:23 Meet the Flintstones by Hoyt Curtin

Nurse Joy


I attempted to do something like this for the Doctor album, but I found the Homestuck melody a lot easier to work with. This is also the first non-mashup musical project I’ve ever done, so congratulations to me for that.

I feel like I could’ve done a lot better with this one, so if any of you have any suggestions I’m up for listening.


I wanted to look for the original caliborn drawing so I said, hey let’s google “dave karkat yaoi”. The resulting PTSD caused what you’re looking at.



Don’t let your memes be dreams. Don’t let anyone tell you “hey, memes can’t carry a song”, because it’s a dirty lie, just look at this masterpiece.

Some say chanting BACK YARD along with the Horrorterrors will reveal ancient mysteries of the human psyche.

/co/ probably hates me for making them listen to Extraterrestrial again. And multiple other reasons.

Shoutouts to simpleflips Vinesauce for their ROM corrupter, it’s how I messed up Fleenstones


In the flash file for Jade: Wake up, Jade’s sprite with this pose was green so I had to sit for ~15 minutes and recolor it while checking if I didn’t miss any pixel.

Umbrella Tomato


I decided that I wanted to make one of these cool and new tracks, and, being late in the game, this was the one of the only ones left that I felt I could do justice. As a challenge to myself, I decided that I would not use Penumbra Phantasm at all in the song, which proved to be fairly difficult. The song follows the same structure as the original, but with mostly different motifs that fit the characters shown at points in the flash. At the end, I was going to include something serious, but I decided to do something more high quality instead. Special thanks to JohnJRenns for the help with DVS Sax, and Destradious for making the MIDI I based my song off of.



Savior of oppositenesses


The idea for the name is because i use savior of waking world >< end of the world(a song by ceru) and Black >< White. Easy gg. The drums i just copy paste the main melody into drums, turns out quite well.


There has to be at least one timeline where SBURB assigned John the meme class, and this art tells that story.



Featuring guest composer tobacious foxx and the voice of steve from Blues Clues. Also cocomposed by Michael Bowman and Tensei, with live piano work from Jit.

(not really, but it’s fun to pretend)


What am I looking at
Is this what it’s like to die

I started a joke!


The secret is nobody knows what the joke is.


I haven’t even started working on this art yet but it’s probably amazing so you’re welcome for that.


You Know, You Could Cut Yourself With That Edge


This is just something to add hilarity to the whole GRIMDARK saga of Rose’s life, which was a weird but fun little thing that happened in Homestuck. Grimdark as a concept is kinda paradoxically making fun of itself but also completely serious, so I started thinking “man this reminds me of shadow the hedgehog”. So I added some edgy memes in there, and the thing about Advanced Darkness, because that’s some good shit. Metal Gear Rising, gunshots, and dog barks added oomph to the second half of it, and I love it. I like listening to this song and watching the video, even if it’s dumb. Hopefully you do too.

Shadow The Hedgehog was a legitimately fun game for me, despite how dumb it is. That kinda goes for Sonic Adventure 2, now that I think of it. It’s weird to think how randomly edgy those two games were. There was a mad scientist ridden with grief because the government killed his dying daughter for no god damn reason, so he goes fucking crazy and has a plan to commit worldwide genocide because of it. That’s pretty fucking hardcore if you ask me. But then Shadow The Hedgehog seemed to not entirely get why Sonic Adventure 2 was reasonable while it wasn’t. Suddenly all the “edge” parts got played up to almost goofy levels (it’s like taking candy from a baby, WHICH IS FINE BY ME), as opposed to the “ridiculous” parts being played up (NO DON’T TOUCH THAT LEVER, AHHHHH!!!). There’s a difference between kids suddenly being confronted with a madman’s delusions and then going in to fight a lizard, and between kids suddenly meeting Goku Satan and doing odd jobs for him and/or fighting him. The thing is that Shadow The Hedgehog takes its edge too seriously, while Sonic Adventure 2 balanced it out with, well, not subtlety (it wasn’t an amazing story), but rather a half of the cast not really giving a shit about the edge.



This was the first song I made for Cool and New Homestuck. When I first learned about that project I decided to do music for a flash that probably wouldn’t be too popular, because I thought there would be a lot of fights over who gets to do music for flashes like Cascade and stuff. That turned out not to be true but whatever. Anyway, for this one I basically decided to make a piece to the likes of Terezi Owns out of multiple Dave motifs, so I used the classic drums from Upward Movement like in the original song and threw in some Atomyk Ebonpyre and some Beatdown, and later on I directly quoted Terezi Owns.


Okay, I’ve just got one left after this. I can do it. I’m strong. I’m a strong boy.

Nope I can’t think of anything. Guess it’s time to reconsider the markov chains.

Deaf Injustice: Ignoration!!


I wasn’t even originally going to do alternate music for this one. Originally this one was just going to use the existing song, “Divine Justice: Overload”. But when it turned out that wasn’t allowed I decided to claim that one. It was originally going to be a collaboration between me and Shwan, where I would write the MIDI file and he would do glitch effects and add a transition between the beginning and main section and master it overall. But when Cerulean shared with me a mix of the intro in his musical style, I liked it so much that I let him mix the whole song that way, and left Shwan to handle the glitch effects; the addition of Bowman’s Credit Score glitches was a very pleasant surprise.
When I wrote this song, I wasn’t sure what to do at one point, so I just repeated the main theme and added the RCT theme song, which is good because mixing that song into stuff is sort of our signature thing. Turns out the glitch effects largely destroyed that section due to flash syncing.


It was really fun messing around with audacity,i love it. Also i love fucking things up


Okay I couldn’t find a way to do markov chains easily, but I’ve found a random sentence generator so that’s the next best thing. The capital bear undertakes the lifetime. The event handicaps whatever daytime northern. The sword storms into the overwhelming advice. The supermarket grabs the widest disclaimer beside the dance. And that’s it. I think this is the last piece 413 did for CANH. Writing these shitposts out has been an absolute journey.



Since it’s ¾ beat so i decide to put in RCT since its our main theme. It was pretty fun. I also really love using music box as an instruments.


Well. My first idea was “Edit a RCT image and put Gamzee and the other trolls of the flash” but i didn’t knew how so i put a Space Rollercoaster with Gamzee in while he’s launching Tavros’ head. Also a friend said Tavros’ blood looks like… y’know shit.



In all honestly this is just a cover of Cascade, but it’s cool as well as new. Also Makin is my artist waifu.


Noisemaker is my composer waifu and Griever forgot to add enough Jojo references so I thought I’d help him with that.



I love flare!!!!!!!


I love flair!!!!!!!

Savior of the Screaming Dead


This song is supposed to really give you the sense that you first had when you saw this part of Cascade. It’s fucking beautiful, it all fits together, it’s hype, and there was probably some amount of crazy screaming. It’s also here to remind you that fucking Dragon Ball Z was the shit, and it really pioneered ascension scenes as a whole.

Anyways, I first made this song not knowing it would sync up to the video at all, actually. I just got lucky to be honest. Hopefully you enjoy!

Well, the scene that the audio is taken from is the Super Saiyan Three scene in DBZ, so I just used a frame from that and put Jhon’s head on it. I also added screaming things. This song is about creating something both cool and new out of nostalgic things - things that you’ve lived through your childhood with. Dragon Ball Z, Homestuck, they’re both big parts of my young life. So this song in all its shitposty glory, IS something cool and new and fun and fresh and exciting, in my opinion, even if it just throws a bunch of memes onto a good song.

Black Yard, Green Fun


I love fun, Blackyard, FUN (well, the song wasn’t actually fun since its intense af)


Take a seat and allow me to tell you a short tale of how this poor load gaper met anguish bladder brimstone.
So i was enjoying a nice re-viewing of cascade to inspire some art for this track and the moment i saw sollux hunched over crying blood i knew yes. this. but with fiery mustardblood laserblast shotgun diarrhea green fun indeed my friend.

Tick Tock Comes the Bad Wolf

Cecily Renns:

open up


its the police, MSUIC POLICE

what did i do

you are using an excess of Orchestral Bullshit™ in your music and it is unacceptable


you are going away for a LONG time, mother fucker



For this one, Cecily was the one who did most of the work. I mostly just made draft versions of the Negastrife sections, and I also made the honk sound effects as follows. When Cecily sent me her mix of the song, he left out the honk sound effects and let me do those. Soon enough, I had the PERFECT idea for that: phrases associated with each of his soul components in a slowed down text to speech voice. And which voice could I ever do but the hilarious WillFromAfar?
The honk sound effects are the following phrases combined: “Haa haa hee hee hoo hoo”, “I need a towel”, “I’m glasses”, and “Miracles”, for Caliborn, Equius, Lil’ Hal, and Gamzee respectively. The funny thing is, “I need a towel” and “I’m glasses” sort of blend together to sound like “I need glasses”, the same way those phrases’ associated characters combined to make Arquiusprite. Also, because of Caliborn’s signature laugh, it actually did end up sounding somewhat like a honk.


For those with no childhood or those who aren’t insane enough to look at this art, this is that one part from Little Red Riding Hood where the main character, I think she was called Vaska or something, discovers that the main baddie is cosplaying as her grandmother with a vore fetish. The details are fuzzy, but seriously, we already have a Bad Wolf villain, god damn it whoever decided this song name making me resort to centuries old stories in order to meme.

Also I fucked up the line quality at some point while using the bucket tool, sorry for that. Hopefully it doesn’t look awful in your music player of choice.


Cecily Renns:

Mira came up with this idea of “act transitions” jokingly actually ; with just the names “Cool and New Act 1, Cool and New Act 2” et cetra. Then I just picked some major motifs from each act and made this. I was gonna do more than piano and bass, but this sounds good enough, The minimalistic nature accompanies the idea of it being just short transitions.

The very last one is ~~END OF DISC 1~~, which I made after all the other ones because I wanted a song with that name and it could serve as a gateway to the NEXT ALBUM WHICH WILL FEATURE ACT 6 AND YOU WILL PROBABLY SEE IT IN LIKE TWO MONTHS.


This album was a waste of everyone’s time.

Cool and New Music Team:

How stupid do you feel now?

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